Monday, November 18, 2013

Pedophiles Call For Same Rights As Homosexuals


I don't go on Facebook very often these days but today I came across an article that my cousin shared:

it-begins-pedophiles-call-for-same-rights-as-homosexuals , and upon reading it, I felt as if my worst nightmare was coming into fruition.



As I sit here and watch my children run around and play, as I sit here and stare at their beautiful faces and take in their childish manners, I shudder at the thought of people out there advocating to rob them of their innocence. How can anyone look at a child and think that it is okay to take anything from them when they don't even have the capability of fully understanding what is happening to them? As a mother and a victim, I can attest that I have spent numerous nights tossing and turning and weeping because I had had a dream about my child being hurt and abused in some way. I have been abused in lesser degrees than many others and still I cannot and will not tolerate history repeating itself through my children or any other child I have responsibility over, moreover, I cannot condone anything worse happening to them.

In this article from the Northern Colorado Gazette, there are many horrific statements made in regards to pedophilia becoming a simple sexual orientation. One is "that the 'negative potential' of adult sex with children was 'overstated' and that the 'vast majority' of both men and women reported no negative sexual effects from childhood sexual abuse experiences." I'm sorry but the vast majority is not the entirety and how would anyone feel if it was their child who failed to make the vast majority list? What if your child became mentally unstable, a recluse, failed to maintain normal relationships, became an abuser his/herself or even committed suicide because their mind failed to accept sexual abuse as being okay? From a very personal standpoint I can argue this statement until my heart grows weary and my lungs collapse. I was abused as a child, a teenager and a young adult and each abuse snowballed and each abuse caused it's own break in the fabrication of my mental stability. Sometimes the effect is mental, sometimes it is physical and always, it is emotional. It took many, many for the pain from each abuse to fade and even now, having a family and a loving husband, sometimes, the past creeps in like a poisonous viper and paralyzes me from the inside out, even if just for a moment. I have also known people from different spectrums of life that can testify that any sexual conduct, regardless of how big or little, is etched in their brain forever until they die. Perhaps it doesn't affect their sex life later on, though I know it can, it will affect them as a person, how well they trust people and relationships, how well they adapt in social atmospheres and how they develop mentally. How many autobiographies have I read about people who were abused as a child and struggled to find normalcy in their adulthood? Countless, almost every single one. Actually, this makes me realize, if I have heard so many personal stories and have read so many books about detrimental child abuse and according to a study, the vast majority isn't negatively sexually affected, then there must be a countless number of people who have been abused and never voiced or reported it or reported it untruthfully. This is a sad, sad thought. Abuse is Abuse no matter how one looks at it. How can one put the words 'overstated' and 'abuse' in the same statement and think that it can be justified, especially with children?

Another statement made by psychologist, Van Gijseghem is: Pedophiles are not simply people who commit a small offense from time to time but rather are grappling with what is eqiuvalent to a sexual orientation just like another individual may be grappling with hetersexuality or even homosexuality.

It is never a 'small offense' to take advantage of a minor who is unable to stand up and protect him/herself, whether it's rape or petting. The fact that these people are comparing pedophilia to homosexuality enrages me; it is not at all like someone struggling with hetero or homosexuality. Homosexuals did not fight for rights to manipulate or abuse another being, they fought for the right to have consensual sexual relations with a member of the same sex. A child will never be in a consensual sexual relationship with an adult because they are not mentally capable of knowing or understanding what a sexual relationship even is. A child who is touched in the wrong place will most likely not say anything at the moment it is happening because s/he doesn't even know what is happening until later on and if the child is a little older, even though they don't know why this abuse is happening, they know that something feels wrong about it. In a heterosexual or homosexual relation, the involved parties are mentally mature enough to know what is happening. A man and a woman, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman are both in agreement of a sexual relation. Even in a worst case scenario where it is not consensual, an adult of any sex, is mentally capable of addressing the situation before them and God willing, able to make a personal decision as to whether any action takes place and take action based on that decision. Rape is rape, regardless of age, but to rape a child is monstrous.

In regards to pedophilia being a sexual orientation, sure okay maybe it's something that can't be changed, but it still robs another person of their own rights, it abuses another person, a child and it should remain illegal. As my husband stated, just like with the act of rape itself, some people like to take it by force, that is their fetish, so should we legalize rape just because these rapists can't help themselves? I like to think that no one in this world would condone this. But then, what is the difference when an adult takes it from a child who is not strong enough mentally or physically to put up any sort of defence.

Linda Harvey, of Mission America, states that the push for pedophiles to have equal rights is "...all part of a plan to introduce sex to children at younger and younger ages..." Why? We already know that kids as young as 11 or twelve are already sexually active, basically, if a child has reached puberty, they will be sexually curious. To what purpose is there in introducing it earlier and earlier? It is hard enough to keep children innocent these days, why are people trying to steal this away from them even more so? We are given only a few minor years of just playing and doing childish things, living with no responsibility and very little consequences, even adults say that they wish they didn't grow up so fast. How many people say, "I wish I was a kid again or my favorite memory is of when I was 5 or 16 [or whatever age it was] and we went camping and I caught a big, big fish"? Who are we to rob someone of that time? What person, even one who was sexually active at a young age, has looked back at their childhood and has said, "Oh that [sexual encounter] is my most fond memory"? It is incredulous. Even if the child we are looking at is a teenager, we all know that the teenage years are tumultuous, bad decisions are made left, right and center; that's why kids are meant to live with their parents until they are adults and are able to make logical, wise and mature decisions. We adults are meant to rear and protect the young ones because they need it. They need to be taught right from wrong. They need to be taught their rights. Sex is so multi-faceted, it affects the very core of a person's being, every aspect of their life. It is our most valued treasure and gift, and having said that, it is a gift to be given to another person, if not affectionately, at least willingly, and not taken by force or manipulation.

The IASHS lists, on its website, a list of “basic sexual rights” that includes “the right to engage in sexual acts or activities of any kind whatsoever, providing they do not involve nonconsensual acts, violence, constraint, coercion or fraud.”

Granted, I am not an expert in the law nor do I claim to be but I cannot understand how they can say that pedophiles who, earlier in the article, are claimed to have commited abuses and offenses have a right to our children to engage in sexual acts with them. Would you consent to giving your child to a neighbour who has the intent of having sex with him or her? Would your child consent to it? If your child did consent to having sex with an adult, do you believe that that child knows what he or she is actually consenting to? No. The answer is and always will be No because this is a child we are talking about. A child: a young human being; an immature or irresponsible person; a person who has little or no personal experience in a matter. Let's not do this to our young ones just to acquiesce someone's sexual gratification. This is not equal rights. What about the rights of the child? What about our rights, legal and God-given, as parents and as citizens? Will we no longer be able to rely on the law to protect our children? What kind of future are we creating for ourselves and our offspring? Let these sex offenders challenge the law but for the sake of all of our children, do not let them change it.










Thursday, July 25, 2013

Whitney, Bed Sheets and Beauty

I've been feeling really down lately, physically and emotionally, and today isn't much different except that our home is in disarray and my children are constantly at each other's throats. Well, that's not so different from any other day but I haven't fixed the girls' beds in days nor have I fed their fish or picked up the books scattered on the floor. So today, I decided to force myself to accept my pain and not let it hurt my children or my home any longer...at least for today.

Anyhow, there I was fixing the girls' beds while letting my iTunes run on random when The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston comes on and almost instantaneously I am transfixed and transported to another room in another house in another time. A room as white and as fresh as the woman it belongs to. A room that for me has always brought back my warmest and fondest memories. I see myself sitting on the floor rummaging through dozens on cassette tapes as I had dozens of times before. Whitney is playing just as she is almost every day and my mother is moving purposefully around the room tidying up and lecturing me not to get her tapes all mixed up and out of order. Every so often, she stops and sits with me and shows me her favorites and why she loves them. How many days had we spent like this? Just me and my mom. This was my world, my safe place. No one else around but us sharing our love of music. No other place, no other memory makes me feel as safe as this one.

How serendipitous that more than twenty years later, a song of love from a mother to her child takes me back to my mother and her child. The pain of remembering her instead of reminiscing with her is still so indescribable but just as powerful is the memory of her love and our wonderful, special moments together. I only hope that one day, life will take my family to a place where my children can hear a particular song or smell a particular scent and they will automatically be brought back to me, wherever I may be. May I have that same impact on my children as my mom had on me. May all mothers and fathers show their children nothing but love that when we are nothing but memories, they will be ones of love and light and life.

Be good to your children. Be positive. Be supportive. Be strong. Be uplifting. Show them beauty. And spend time with them. One day, they won't be children and one day, we won't be here. Leave them a legacy of goodness and godliness.

Friday, January 28, 2011

93/32

That was my blood pressure this afternoon around 12:30pm.

Felt like I was dying. Maybe I am.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

God's lesson in prayer to a 12 year old

So I totally can't sleep. It's 3:27am EST. I even hit up an Ativan and that hasn't kicked in yet.

I guess blogging again and thinking about my "off-balanceness" (see previous blog) has got my mind trying to figure out just how I fell off my rocker.

I remember being in grade 7 at Queen Elizabeth Park School and having a best friend named Kyla K. She had blond hair and freckles. She loved everything rock - from Kurt Cobain to plaid shirts and ripped jeans. She also had a back brace that she wore for her Scoliosis and eventually, she had spinal surgery to correct it. She was beautiful.

Since we had become friends,  I learned to appreciate everything about her. She was so different from me. She lived with just her mom. She was good with people/boys. She had fire and spunk. She was a fountain of worldly knowledge and she opened my eyes to different facets of life that I was ignorant to.

She also taught me that having a physical disability could get you out of a lot of things...like gym class. I hated gym. I was always either picked on or never picked. So I started a prayer petition that God would grant me Scoliosis just like Kyla. Yes, I was a foolish child. I prayed and I prayed hoping that the Father of heaven would grant a poor little girl's wish to get out of gym class.

Well, after a year or so, I became a full believer in God and answered prayers. God had granted me Scoliosis! Haha! Again, yes, I was a foolish child. Yes, I did get out of gym class for the rest of my school career but I also had to suffer the aches and pains of a back brace and the hardships of major surgery. Kyla had failed to mention how terribly troublesome and inconvenient the condition was but I guess she never would have thought that someone would be envious of it. Well. I surprised her didn't I.
No. She moved to Hawaii...

Anyway, my point is...be careful what you pray for/wish for because if you get it, you may soon realize that it's not what you wanted afterall. Seriously.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Orthotics and Thought-ics

I don't know why I have decided to post another blog after so many months off.

Yesterday while at my cousin's orthotics store to order a pair of corrective shoes for my flat feet, I was told that to actually have your feet flat on the ground is a bad thing. It is better to have an arch. So, me being flat footed has rendered me off-balance and prone to physical suffering and bunions.

Haha, I just realized things about myself that I had known my entire life. Ergh?!